we didn’t get to Mt Gambier today

After a fantastic day at the Naracoorte Caves yesterday, I was looking forward to exploring Mt Gambier today. We are staying about 100km away and the drive between Naracoorte and Mt Gambier is said to be lovely. But we didn’t get there.

Why? Because good old diabetes struck again. This sort of thing doesn’t happen often thank goodness, but when it does it knocks me around a lot.

Here’s what happened. After returning from the caves at about 4pm yesterday I went to the Naracoorte Post Office while Trevor dropped into ‘Foodland’. When I hopped out of the car I was feeling fine and able to talk sensibly with Trevor and the kids, but all of a sudden my blood sugar dropped. I assume it was already heading low, but there are times I can be 4.2 and be shaking like a jelly and unable to remember my name, but conversely I can be 2.0 and able to carry on normally. This was one of these times, and it was as I walked into the post office that things started to go awry.

I couldn’t work out where to go, and whether there were two or three customer service stations. I made it into the line, but dropped the things I was carrying twice. Other people in the queue helped me pick them up because this was beyond me. I knew something was wrong, but didn’t make the connection that I needed to leave the post office and get back to the car to get something to eat. I got to the counter and God only knows what the lady serving me thought. I was posting a couple of postcards from the kids to their school, and also mailing some books and CDs back to Adelaide Library. I didn’t have an address – so I simply don’t know where I’ve ending up sending them. I know I said that I needed to get them back to Adelaide. The receipt shows I spent $9.70 posting a parcel over 2kg to postcode 5000, so that makes me think that they should get there…I hope so!

I left and saw Trevor nearby and launched myself at him. He immediately knew I was low and got my car lollies into me.

But this embarrassing story doesn’t end here. I had a great evening where I searched what to see in Mt Gambier and updated some blog posts. I was feeling great when I went to bed. I tested at 8.1 which is a good reading to go to bed with.

This morning though I woke to Max feeding me lollies and Harry cuddling up and patting my arm. Yes, I was low again. Trevor said that when I woke up my reading was 2.1 – and I was not making much sense. I knew we were in South Australia apparently but thought the town we were staying in was ‘South Pacific’. It wasn’t until 9am that I was able to sit up and eat breakfast. After breakfast it was back to bed for me.

I was up again around lunchtime and spent a bit of time doing Sudokos (thanks for the book Mum!) and watching the kids and Trevor skylark on their bikes. We did a few things around here and in the afternoon I needed a nap again.

So much for our trip to Mt Gambier today.

My blood sugar was up to 19.7 at dinner tonight. I’ll do another blood sugar before bed and hope that it’s come down a bit.

I guess my point behind writing this is to express how shitful living with my type 1 can be. It is so frustrating that I can’t seem to do simple things without it having a massive impact on me and everyone else in my family. I can almost hear my Mum and Dad in the background saying ‘But Liz, you do too much…” – but I don’t think that I do. I certainly don’t do anywhere near the amount of things they were doing at my age (including both working as full time teachers plus owning and operating a 10 acre orchard and parenting me).

I know that I’m lucky to be here, especially having virtually all of my physical  and mental competencies, but sometimes life just sucks. I’m only 36 years old and feel like I’m living the life of an 80 year old some of the time. It’s unfair, not only to me, but to Trevor, Max and Harry as well. There’s so much I want to do, including going back to work full time, but having days like this sometimes makes it feel impossible. I feel as if I have to over-prove myself all of the time to make up for this weakness I have and it’s possible impacts on my family, work and other activities like Scouting.

I know I’m feeling dreadfully sorry for myself but I’m allowed to sometimes!

We are just at the beginning of an awesome trip that I’ve already enjoyed a huge amount and I know our family has got a lot out of. I’m glad I got the chance to visit the caves yesterday as I learnt a huge amount. More holistically, I’m in a strong marriage with gorgeous, healthy kids and even though we’re not overflowing with money, we are doing OK. We have a lovely home, great family supports and lots of wonderful friends.

I just wish someone would hurry up and find that cure! (see www.jdrf.org.au )